today headed down on my one-on-one date with myself, -.- LOL, sounds damn pathetic, but wanted to try stuffs la, and no one wanted to watch Ghost Rider went to play Gears of War, and DAMN, the game is fun =D went to watch ghost rider after that, alone, nobody at the counter believed i wanted to watch alone, the popcorn lady gave me 2 drinks with my large popcorn and waved me off -.- so i had 2 drinks to myself to the whole movie -.- ghost rider, was okay, not too bad, but needs more story instead of 3d =D talk about a seriously stupidly sad life(for me), lol
goodbyes suck, cuz you wont know whether the goodbye you just said is tempory or permanent, most goodbyes are "see you soon" but it sucks when the goodbye you said really fulfills it purpose,
Jon : dude, death shows up whether we like it or not man, its a villian that none of us can escape from, but at this time, having family around makes it all worthwhile, makes them know that at least in their life, there will be their legacy, something they left behind in the hearts of those they love and who love them back, trust me, i know, i been there, be there yeah?
Now making a happy cheesecake, its due at 12pm tml, so im rushing it, finishing it by 3am, then im juz gonna crash and sleep and die for a while, then feed my sinfully nice cheesecake to the promised pple =D like i said, cheesecakes are weapons! =D (someone will know wad this means)
Mum broke the news yesterday that her husband (my unspoken stepdad) is gonna pass on anytime soon. The cancer cells had spread to his neck and slowly eating away the rest of his aging life.
I decided it wld be appropriate to drop by today since it was gonna be his last CNY ever. He may not be my real father but still, I was obliged as his stepson to make today one of the better days for him to forget his pain. I've still yet to thank him for providing my mum & Ben with a blessed family and giving me 2 wonderful younger siblings, Aaron and Sarah.
He's pain, I realized, had taken a whole new meaning altogether.
Imagine if all you cld do (or not do) is to be a impediment to ur loved ones. Wld it make you feel any less guilty than robbing a poor old woman of her lifetime savings in broad daylight? It makes you feel damned rotten inside and that is what my stepdad is feeling right now. He may not express it but one cld well feel it like heat radiating frm toasted bread. He is decrepit to the extent that he lies on bed 24/7, getting off only when he needs the toilet. Aaron by stepbro tells me that sometimes he throws a temper at mum when she tries to help him to the toilet. He had collapsed countless times in the toilet during such attempts, unsupported..
It pains me to see what mum had been through the past few months. What happened to mummy who used to tell me & Ben biblical stories when we were kids like Noah's Ark or great prophets such as Abraham. Please pray for my mum. Please pray for spiritual strength that she needs the most frm Him.
It actually ached when he made a weak attempt to smile after I greeted him in the bedroom... A warm smile that I cld visualize behind the surgical mask that covered his face.
V-day has come and gone, thanks Sook for the Cushion its really sweet, thanks and just when i was seriously damn tired, i get a cushion! out of the blue
everyone threatens to take it away from me, cuz they know i will fall asleep one haha
they say that the hardest lessons in life only stick after being went through, after this FYP im glad of the second chance, cuz i really wanna do better than the mess i created for myself, haiz one more sem its official i guess, but at least i can 100% conc on it instead of multi-tasking subjects and that gee,
im glad of my family during this project, the insane amount of support and tolerance is WHOA, and to be honest, i would have cracked long ago
eugene and johnny (2 of my best buds) but weirdly enuff, they said more or less the same thing once to me "if i could have your family, i take it in a heartbeat"
hmmm, something i will ponder later, when i got time
Shall not post about FYP anymore, lest i bore my readers, see?! even ii, my mysterious tagger has disappeared! nooo! he/she/it must be too bored
Anyway, this is for you, after blasting my music to keep myself awake, came across this nice old song again and it reminded me of you, how ya life is going now, how difficult it is for me to read you, stuff like that no prizes on guessing who am i referring to..
Maroon 5 : She Will Be Loved Beauty queen of only eighteen She had some trouble with herself He was always there to help her She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles And wound up at your door I've had you so many times but somehow I want more
I don't mind spending everyday Out on your corner in the pouring rain Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved And she will be loved
Tap on my window, knock on my door I want to make you feel beautiful I know I tend to get so insecure It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies It's compromise that moves us along My heart is full and my door's always open You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday Out on your corner in the pouring rain Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved And she will be loved And she will be loved And she will be loved
I know where you hide Alone in your car Know all of the things that make you who you are I know that goodbye means nothing at all Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
Tap on my window, knock on my door I want to make you feel beautiful
I don't mind spending every day Out on your corner in the pouring rain, oh Look for the girl with the broken smile Ask her if she wants to stay awhile And she will be loved And she will be loved And she will be loved And she will be loved
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
I don't mind spending everyday Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Happy Vday everyone, im definitely not celebrating it i guess, gonna spend it either in school, or at home, rushing thru my project still haiz, happy Vday
feelin bettter aftyer FYP blues, after talking to pple (who arent involved in it) cuz they are as zombified as i am its good to have a fresh feeling, a breather of non-FYP air.. talked to alfie just now, told him my decision to change major 1st reaction : WADDDD?! then, he told me to do my best for this project.. and then see wad happens, cuz if i fail, the resub would be a pass or a fail, nothing less, no grades, nothing, after school he says, then go do some insane stuff for your portfolio, but for now, finish ya 3d animation, lecturers do not sit down and figure out who they wanna fail this semester, they are all trying to pass us, so that they wont ever see our faces again, =D
talked to sook and then met up with fishe and ser, ser was busy, but fishe was just fun to irritate.. =D
after meeting with them, lunch with alfie, justin and stan sort of felt better, realized the way to do this project was not to block out friends and family but maybe they were the ones to restore my sanity =D
back to work again, now still animating, 3 days left,
lets make miracles, i seriously wouldnt mind another sem cuz i get to play with the HD cam without interference, but crew only got Jared.. noooooooooo!
3d animation time.. msn me.. i wouldnt mind, im seriosuly bored
" YOU! You have no balls! you have OVARIES!" i think this was supposed to be scientifically funny, apparently -.-
a so-called insult i heard in applied science when i was walking there due to overindulgence in 3d! my brain was suffering from wayyy too many hours on it, as a result, i see objects in 4 views, i can accurately tell you how Moses would look as a wireframe-d object and i see floor tiles with vertices at their edges,
but back to the topic of ovary-name-calling! girls would probably wear this phrase with pride with a smart retort like "yeahhh, DUH!"
but unfortunately! for guys, its a major stab on our pride, there is nothing wrong with ovaries, just not for a guy.. even though i know (almost) every girl wishes we guys could go thru the agony of their monthly "thing" so that we so-called insensitive brutes, (who also have the luxury of having a simple fashion style of maybe 4 lines of clothing =D) would understand the pain of being the child-bearing sex.
but if you do some nice research on the web, it been seen! the guy had balls, and with the joyous addition of ovaries too! which would make him asexual i suppose, but the fun part was whether the ovaries were benign or not(active or not) if they were..... well i let your mind wonder,
updates on 3d project, im now BONING my 3d character! and its a rodent! okay that sounded extremely wrong,but its true, we have to bone and then SKIN it! lol
i had problems with the hands, so i had to remodel them -.- sian so did everything like rename, rebone, reskin, etc, need to complete animation! rawr, trying to finish by hopefully wednesday, damn, its gonna be close
i do it again tonight, have been doing it since last last week, (staying up overnight, not wadeva wrong things you all have been thinking of. )
ah well, my crazy mood is over, im wearing my big fish slippers to school tml, whee
//i dreamt about you, and we have were having a date, eating instant noodles on the bus 0.O
I dreamed I was a disillusioned construction worker of some Chinese origin. I kept jumping off buildings I had built, bungee-styled... Nothing seemed to be able to stop that weird addiction.. Absolutely nothing haha
weiruthe((: *hope 7 days left. \\ missusmortensen we all take our own time and pace to find out what we really want there are those who are luckier and know sooner and there are those who make more mistakes in the journey to find their way about in this world but what's important is the lesson learnt during the process i know end product seems to be everything right now and no one really cares abt the process but you know you're doing yourself a favour, and only you will know how the process affected you same goes to life and its choices chris martin is right, when he wrote the lyrics for fix you. if you never try, you never know so for now, just finish up what yoou started. at least you still can say you walked the entire journey you are still young you have time and energy to pursue whatever it is you want if 3d is not in your future, i'm sure you'll be more passionate abt whatever else it is.. and with passion, you will go places jiayou!
thanks sook, you are a really good friend with insanely good advice, you are probably some alien from a wisely advanced race or something..
i got less than a week left, resulting in brain overdrive, to brain overjuice, which lead me to think, is 3d really the life i want to lead? is this FYP really the one i want to broadcast as the result of my 3 years here? to show all i have learnt in this 3 years of learning insanity with good friends and memories? most pple will say to juz finish this diploma, then try harder with projects outside school, but this isnt juz a school, this isnt juz a normal diploma, this aint business, engine or IT where exams would signify whether how good you were, there isnt such a defined bar in design, this diploma was more like how the lecturers gave me chances, how they did believe in the students they teach, they taught us passion, which is wearing thin due to the repetive and fully running all the way block teaching. everything is running full time, the equipment, people, sanity, patience. what on earth am i doing? i wanna be proud of my work
i really like design, i really do, but on the other hand, what the hell do i want?
i dunnoe really dunnoe, im braindead already, dammit..
Disclaimer : This one stays on the blog, dont ask me about it, its the ravings of someone eccentric, faced with a deadline and a identity crisis, doing so might get you severely traumatised, =D in simple english, - dun ask me bout i, i sort it out on my own-
Uncle Fred, "Drink up ur glass of water. It's breeding mosquitoes."
Rofllollmao!! Aha he's cute.
Mama says i'm a tax resident in-divi-dual for the year of assessment 2006. I wanna be a director of a pioneer company when I grow up. By claiming capital allowances under s. 19 in order to maximize exempted profit during the pioneer period, I would be able to reduce tax under such an arrangement. The fixed asset turnover ratio varies among industries. Pioneer companies wld have a lower turnover ratio compared to industries such as service firms.
everyone is up at 430, everyone has eyes that can be mapped into a topo map for rivers everyone has eyebags the size of 5kg sacks of rice we have an orchestra of accapella noses, somehow we have perfected the art of musical phglem, as a result of many recordings i am proud to present the "FYP Symphony No.162, the Art of Fluids"
bad music is being played 24/7 we even went old school and had a "sec school only playlist, nothing that is poly level"
i love my work i hate my work i love/hate my work stop crashing on me... pleaseee,im beggin you, im reduced to begging a box of plastic metal and sillicon damn the technological age! lets go back to the stone age! i make stone ipods for everybody, black, white, opal and other colours possible,
RAWR, i hate jacky too, i visit his blog for a morbid dawning on my tired mind that how close FYP really is, tickticktick goes the seconds, TIRED!
screw this, im gonna live,and survive,with hopefully enuff sanity to actually shove 3d into the G.O
went out/went for marathon-walking with jia, neville and abby, met them at the WRONG side of ang mo kio market uber paiseh la, considering that i grew up in ang mo kio, thought i knew the place by heart now,
1st leg of the amazing walk! from ang mo kio ave 10 to the MRT =4 km
met up with jason, and i swear, neville has some kind of obsession with topman, we went there 3 TIMES! haha, all of us were like, you need a skinny jeans, a skinny tie and a "ah peh shirt" LOL
2nd leg topman to fareast, back to topman again maybe 2? went shopping for shoes and uber old-school stuffs, and i ate the fastest shen mee that ever existed
3rd leg simlim, me and jiayi, the others went on their more hardcore shopping maranthons went ard simlim buying the expander and scouring the technological battleground for earphones, got this uber lame guy with a equally lame sales pitch, he asked us straight out if we wanted an ipod, then when we told him that we wanted earphones, he recommended in-ear earphones, to make us deaf to the creepy sounds and whatnot of the 7month. -.- cabbed back to town to go to applecentre, cuz i went to get something and jiayi couldnt get her mind off her old earphones, in her words "no other earphone has this kind of nice pink!" but its nice la, vodaphones, its a nice brand la, but sadly, not my type of music ears.
cabbed back again, went to fix up her wireless range expander, her mom got japanese pizza! yum, its uber nice la, and its 1 for 1, so its worth it, and its not the kind that makes u uber full after 3 slices, damn nice la, need to find out the name and no later,
after losing my sanity and loads of patience, we finally got it(expander) working! i was litearally leaping for joy when i saw that it finally worked, watched tons of jap mtvs' on her comp, plus variety shows, the captions in all jap shows, are just UBER, they are just like emoticons, wacky ones.
im kind of finally rested, feeling better, feeling that my life wasnt anymore of just facing the computer and in school, im ready to get back to work, to another week of insane overnighting, crabbiness and bad breath(LOL), why? maybe because i love it, racing against a deadline, i love challenges, couldnt really say no to any, this is just one more,
todays rest was good,
flame on,
// why wonder when the answer is straight in your face?
EDIT: stupid blogger cant diff font size, ah well changed it now it looks normal,
on thursday met up with yogi and gary for our prayer group thingie at vivocity, gary was uber late -.- so hence me and yogi went to Superdog to eat, its a nice place, the food is same pricing as carls junior, but taste-wise, its uber! =D
secondly there was this really cute, really really cute short cashier, she was like really tanned and yeah she was cute, haha, but ANYWAY, her cuteness is worth mentioning but not worth blogging anyway, wad struck me most about her was not her aesthetically pleasing attributes but how similar she looked to one of the kids i knew in phillipines,
we went there, to loranga, its like one of the slums of phillipines, its pretty rough, gangsters, crooked cops, child prostitution, the kind of place where you wouldnt want to live, and there was this church there, and we played basketball with the kids there,
i swear, the cashier i saw was a mirror image of one of the girl kids, same eyes, everything, the same nose, expression all of it was the SAME! scary, halfway round the world and i meet the same person here, (it cant be her btw, even calculating growing up time, she would only be 11, she cant possibly be working here in singapore)
will there be another me? another person who looks like my family maybe, my friends, maybe in another colour! it be interesting if i was like a black person, it be cool to see..
on another note, i somehow managed to piss everyone off, lol,
to ii - someone in my tagboard, i still rmb my promise to write a story on pinocchio, soon soon, i got a final year project to do, currently no energy or time or brain power for it, i promise i do it soon k?
//its quite surprising and sad to see how much you have changed,
