j - some place better
Mum broke the news yesterday that her husband (my unspoken stepdad) is gonna pass on anytime soon. The cancer cells had spread to his neck and slowly eating away the rest of his aging life.I decided it wld be appropriate to drop by today since it was gonna be his last CNY ever. He may not be my real father but still, I was obliged as his stepson to make today one of the better days for him to forget his pain. I've still yet to thank him for providing my mum & Ben with a blessed family and giving me 2 wonderful younger siblings, Aaron and Sarah.
He's pain, I realized, had taken a whole new meaning altogether.
Imagine if all you cld do (or not do) is to be a impediment to ur loved ones. Wld it make you feel any less guilty than robbing a poor old woman of her lifetime savings in broad daylight? It makes you feel damned rotten inside and that is what my stepdad is feeling right now. He may not express it but one cld well feel it like heat radiating frm toasted bread. He is decrepit to the extent that he lies on bed 24/7, getting off only when he needs the toilet. Aaron by stepbro tells me that sometimes he throws a temper at mum when she tries to help him to the toilet. He had collapsed countless times in the toilet during such attempts, unsupported..
It pains me to see what mum had been through the past few months. What happened to mummy who used to tell me & Ben biblical stories when we were kids like Noah's Ark or great prophets such as Abraham. Please pray for my mum. Please pray for spiritual strength that she needs the most frm Him.
It actually ached when he made a weak attempt to smile after I greeted him in the bedroom... A warm smile that I cld visualize behind the surgical mask that covered his face.
posted by .jon @ 9:01 PM
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