build a wall around myself..
maybe thats wad i should do perhaps.. more and more people talk 2 me bout my recent breakup, that its is in God's will and that i am now so-called abstaining frm sin that pple say breaking up was right logically and in doing so i now am not compromising..but wad is? isnt compromising when i put anything first in front of God and church? who doesnt lie?who doesnt tell a lie in order 2 get away with something..no matter how minor..isnt lying a sin?isnt lying comprising? haiz..no matter wad everyone says..deep down it juz doesnt feel right.. its like hiting on a raw nerve..there is NO way i am gonna say "hallulejah, praise the Lord i broke up" and pretend everything is normal..
haiz..yesterday was a really really special day between meihua and me..a year frm where we started..now, dreams shattered..
out..of..my..life..
build a wall around myself..
maybe thats wad i should do perhaps.. more and more people talk 2 me bout my recent breakup, that its is in God's will and that i am now so-called abstaining frm sin that pple say breaking up was right logically and in doing so i now am not compromising..but wad is? isnt compromising when i put anything first in front of God and church? who doesnt lie?who doesnt tell a lie in order 2 get away with something..no matter how minor..isnt lying a sin?isnt lying comprising? haiz..no matter wad everyone says..deep down it juz doesnt feel right.. its like hiting on a raw nerve..there is NO way i am gonna say "hallulejah, praise the Lord i broke up" and pretend everything is normal..
haiz..yesterday was a really really special day between meihua and me..a year frm where we started..now, dreams shattered..
out..of..my..life..
memories nvr forgotten..ever..
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time can not erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me..
man..wad do u do when there is a kailedoscope of images that occur 2 u and flash b4 your eyes each night b4 u sleep? hahz dun worry im not goin blind or nuts..but i juz, remember..all the times i spent with her..the beach, stargazing, the same old spots we spent together after work, the retreat at the beach during christmas, the smile u had on ya face when i came with a birthday brownie and sparkler in my hands, while singin a realli out-of-tune- version of happy birthday in the restuarent..the dedications i made..lol! the time i held your hand behind a D_S_B_N..ahahz let u try 2 figure out..lolz!
the first time i saw u cry..the first time u saw me have tears..even robocop has emotions too, in case the rest of ya all dun notice..
thursday,
i watched movie with my friends..in library..watched monsters inc.lolz, dam funny but got realli pissed at the library woman tho..haiz..she juz happily switched off our tvs' b4 the alloted time lor..at 6 we agreed..but they switched off at 530..we were s'posed 2 end at 6..then she was spouting crap like "oh,we end at 545 if there is a reservation 4 6pm..then she insisted that i was told, so i sort of told her off..oops...then later met meihua..then we went 2 see my mom..my mom explained the reson why we couldnt b together.. and the views of my dad..meihua listened and accepted..hmm, part of me still yearns..but i guess its all 4 e best and that i cant b selfish..,meihua, take care and always rmb im juz a call away k?
part of me is gone
okay..now i shall say wad happened..on monday me and meihua broke up..reason? in a single word..religion..haiz..because of the a single phrase in the BIBLE..haiz..this realli realli sucks..its like my heart is breaking apart..it hurts baby..it hurts.. i dun blame meihua at all..she is juz a innocent casualty in this..if i juz held on..its like a knife..stabbing slowly.. my emotional state as of now? unstable.. i dun think i will lose it so dun worry.. but now my so-called spiritual walk is now zero, nada, squat.. dun expect me 2 see me on sat or sunday.. i may not b there..
hurt
well, i dun wanna tok bout 2dae..juz say that the wonderful efforts of mark and my father have paid off.. and no thanks to GOD either..dammit.. sumtimes i really wish i nvr became a christian..haiz... all because of one sentence in e bible "unequally yoked" sheesh.. nvm...4get it..
revived..i hope
OOPS~! hhaz
nvr updated 4 like a month or so le..k la.. shall try 2 b disciplinced.. blog everyday..
hmm..yeah..start with2dae..nothin much..got filming proj 2dae..then got sorTA pissed with stan bout stuff..haii..buts its over..shall live and forget..haizjohnny helped me in proj 2dae..damn funny, i was shooting balloons at his face and into his ear..lol..after all that..finally got a haircut..looks the same actually..then after that met yanwei 4 pasar malam rampage..bougth ramly's burgers 4 sis..(glutton->my sis) hahz..then went home..another typically long tiring boring day..pop goes my eyeballs..
xbox night..procastination no more..
well..ant yanyan and johnny came over last night..hada ridiculous time playing xbox..lolzplayed frm 7plus to 330 in e morning then dozed ff waiting 4 ant..heard later he went 2 kfc..the 24hr one..then we were happily suaning him like mad..said he was at some deserted part of kallang doing sumthin unethical there..lolz! then played frm 530 to6 or 7plus then my consiousness died in my room till 10plus... was s'posed 2 go 2 school..but was so damn tired i juz plunked on my bed at 330 and slept till 830..haiz..damn irresponsible of me..cant b so irrresponsible any more..need change..no more excuses..choices i guess i haf 2 make..night..super tired...
