be a man! do the right thing! LOL
its one week le..i came to a conclusion.. after lots of soul searching, talking to eugene, sook, johnny, hanshen, serene, and abel. mostly eugene anyway.. thanks bro..and ah yes, Thanks God, for maybe creating all this problems so that i can understand all this bout myself and stuff..
i decided i will handle this like a man and not like a kid, who lets his anger take control.. i admit i acted like a child, being angry with meihua and being hurt over her being with someone new.. i mean.. look at the facts.. we broke up.. long ago even, for reasons that it couldnt work out for both of us.. i mean what she did is perfectly normal and perfectly okay in her situation..
we broke up, she finds another guy, she knows him better, she moves on! nothing wrong with that.. but i couldnt let go.. reason? i felt insecure, i didnt know what to do..
and yes, she still did lie to me.. so that is her fault, =D but my fault is worse, i let my rage control me, i became irrational and even threatened both their lives.. when i look back now.. im going "WTF?! what was i thinking?!" she had a right to move on.. and i was childish in trying to hold her back.. i mean.. even if i succeeded.. things still wouldnt have worked out between us,
now i even understand why she lied to me.. mind you, lying is still wrong.. but now i understand.. how to tell me if i was still pissed? esp if she knew that it be a shock, and most likely i be angry.. so hence, she lied.. because she didnt know what to do..
everything i said, including all the stupid stuff on ya tagboard, i take it all back.. even the avoid-meihua-totally thing.. its stupid and childish.. a childish way of avoiding a problem.. eugene said this to me.. "if u cant say hi to her, 5 years down the road, how on earth have you matured at all?" that got me thinking.. ALOT..
i take it back.. and im sorry.. and i know i was childish.. in many ways.. i hope you might forgive me..in time..
the last time i handled this.. i handled it like a kid.. now.. i want to handle it like a man.. which means.. i will never get angry or emo over this matter and i wish you and gimkai all the best.. i hope things works out for you and him.. you deserve happiness..
i hope we be friends.. not ex-steads.. but friends..
maybe one day in the distant future, when you 2 are really firm in ya relationship and not stressed out.. maybe i might actually ask the both of you out for coffee.. =D
meanwhile.. i will move on.. i got volunteer work at MINDS soon.. =D
posted by .jagged @ 1:37 AM
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